The objects are real. The documentation is real. Whether any of it is art is, as Duchamp would insist, entirely your problem.
(idea vs execution)
Back in January I decided I’d be doing some theme parties ongoing, we just have too much space here at the house, especially the backyard (it’s massive). I also have too much energy.
So I wrote down a small list of themes that came to mind, and I let it percolate a little (read: did not proceed to think about it for another week)
The idea that popped the most was an inspired vision of the 90s and the art scene thereof. Berets. Turtlenecks. Circular glasses.
U know like this douchebag
(Spigot from Jerkcity)
So that eventually coalesced into ‘pretentious art party’, which would justify the 90s better-than-you type pretention I was seeking. For extra style points, I immediately thought of Marcel Duchamp’s urinal/readymade art.
The Theme
Duchamp’s readymade art is one of the targets that could popularly be described as ‘pretentious’ other runners up include Rothko, and Mondrian. The heart of the popular use of ‘pretentious’ is ‘too idealized/abstract in conception/I don’t get it so it’s stupid’, the true use of pretentious is ‘to pretend to be’. For the sake of the party and everyone’s sanity, ignoring my own pedantry, I choose to deploy the former here.
In execution of this theme, my goal was to deride but also give a genuine effort. Balancing on the knife’s edge; invoking Poe’s Law.
Why
Before we get much farther, I’d like to talk about motivation. It’s simple really: this was an exercise in proving my own organizational prowess to myself, and as a mark to other people who might observe.
The Plan
Part of any developing idea is the planning stage, which should help to clarify what is/isn’t part of the execution, and to give space for ideas to breathe and grow. I use my e-ink tablet to do this usually, regardless of project. My notes tend stubby, and occasionally hyperlinked if necessary.
The first few major components came out to:
- Layered mirror acrylic placards
- Beret making workshop (hot glue and felt)
- Pre-mixed drinks recommended by G.
These evolved to fit time constraints, but not budgeting:
- Cardstock on foamcore (typical of many real museums, easier to manage than acrylic/laser cutting)
- Premade berets handed out to guests (guaranteeing involvement in workshops of this complexity is not to be expected from larger groups)
- In an effort to reduce the bulk of labelling/placard effort, have the kitchen be an ‘interactive exhibit’ in which folks are encouraged to make their own ‘readymade masterpieces’ via labels and markers.
- G. was so incredibly enthusiastic he decided to mix things himself, volunteering to drive over and be on-site.
- The addition of a tri-fold pamphlet to the paper materials.
- Charcuterie board attended by telling R. “Do your best, ignore budget”
Assembling a team
I’m in great luck: during my time in Houston I met and befriended an insanely talented geologist whose effort and energy directed at his hobbies outclass what most people would put into their own day jobs. G., the man behind Apothecary Cocktail Co.(@ApothecaryHTX on insta), has been tending hobby bar for over a decade. He currently retains several hundred different bottles of alcohol in his residence, along with a handmade (by him! he’s a woodworker sometimes too!) stained wood bar and shelving. The accoutrement and accessories to this bar are nothing if not extensive. It’s basically a researcher/professional setup, I’ve seen him have things on hand I had never conceived of being in a drink. He was the natural and obvious guy to tap for a drinks menu, but he liked my idea so much he delved into it himself and ran wild. He even drove in and played the part of the mixologist.
R., one of my oldest friends, simply makes the best charcuterie layouts that money can’t buy. Professional level boards. There is not much to say here. The work speaks for itself.
A., my roomie, is a sweetie and was fully on-board to help me out, which I deeply appreciated. The house would have been a mess without him.
Of course, I must include myself. I was the ringleader here, and I was responsible for the look and feel of the gallery. Design of materials, ideas on what even constituted a piece, and how information was organized in each step. Keeping track of who was doing what, without micromanaging. Coherence in execution.
Paperwork
The typical art gallery definitely has people, art, and placards. Drinks vary, but because I could tap G., I got a whole cocktail menu. The first iteration he kinda handed to me out of hand, and it was good, funny, and had variety, but it would stylistically clash with the other materials, so I redid the surrounding matter on the original drinks he created for the evening.
The placards were setup by using a google spreadsheet to track all manufactured items in each public area of the house. The front, living room, dining room, and hallway. As previously mentioned, the kitchen was interactively labelled, so the myriad items in that room were not accounted. Name, year of manufacture, materials, manufacturer, all to the best of ability to research. Thankfully, a lot of my stuff is from Ikea, so it was easy to track that info down.
These were key items to me. The last-week addition was the pamphlet, which tied the whole thing together. It had credits, donation links, highlights, and a blurb on the theme.
I wound up using 80lbs cream colored cardstock for all the materials, and it gave the whole deal a nice luxe feel, some people even mentioned this directly via “whoa, this is that fancy paper”. The placards themselves were mounted on 1/8” foam core and then cut to specific margin.
Formerly Kinko’s
Making an aside just for this.
OH. MY. GOd. FUCK Fedex Office (FEO) FR. The process of printing the materials was only somewhat strained, but in the end I spent something like 4 hours hand-cutting to finish the materials. This was the case, because, of the two FEOs in the downtown area of a major metro, the tiny one in a hotel has a paper scoring machine, but the larger one has a manager who doesn’t even know what that is. “We usually fold them by hand” is not only abhorrent, it did psychic damage to even consider that that was how poorly things were run.
So because of that, and my short timeline, I wound up doing all material cuts and folds by hand. Measuring margins on each placard to ensure 3/4” and then later for 25 pamphlets, figuring out the crease points through slight trial/research.
In future parties and instances of needing printmaking, I’ll make sure to get prints started with a 2 week window, and at an actually professional print shop.
The Final Day
Waking up on Saturday well rested, I set to work fairly early. Tidying up parts of the house, and then heading out to try and get my printed-but-unfolded pamphlets from the downtown Fedex Office. I also picked up an extra few sheets of foam core to cover placard making. I was not to arrive home until noon, at which point I set to work carving and measuring and spray gluing cardstock. I was not finished until 7:45pm, a little after the first few guests arrived. I was not even properly attired until after placing all the placards, likely 7:55pm or somesuch.
R. got there at about 7pm, and G. as well. So it was all cut very close, and very much went (acceptably) over time.
I dutifully played part of gallery host, I introduced newcomers, handed them pamphlets, and gave them a brief overview of the areas that would have art pieces. This was extremely fun.
The rest of the night was a blur, but I fondly recall moments of noticing how well different parts of my friend clusters were just simply blending. I also had a relatively high turnout %! of the people on Partiful, I think only 2 of 25 people dropped out, and that was because one of the people in that couple had a medical issue come up. The rest of my non-Partiful invites had a worse hit rate, but overall good numbers! I did not run out of berets, nor did I have extras at the end of the night, so I was the least happy that I would not have a pile sitting around. I do still have a pile of pamphlets, despite protestations that folks should bring them home with them. I should have expected, people can carry one thing, a drink or paper materials for an exhibit, and the drink is preferable by a mile. I could have saved a lot of time, so in the future I’ll keep that in mind.
The placards (most of them) are still up around the various spots in the house. I may leave them there for some time, they’ve already provided conversation for yet another party that was hosted this weekend.
